Mind Spirit

How To Learn To Love Yourself- 6 points

It is always good to learn and share personal insights on how to learn to love yourself. These 6 points have worked rather well for me…

These 6 points have worked rather well for me…

Get Comfortable with Yourself and Get to Know Yourself

As I was learning to love myself I got to know myself better by spending quality time with myself doing things that I enjoyed, as well as learning things that peaked my interest. As I became comfortable with spending a lot of time with myself, I learned to create an attachment, to myself, in a very loving kind of way. Find out what you like and what brings you joy and then do more of it. Spending time with yourself doing what makes you happy.

Be Kind to Yourself

And in a very loving and gentle way I was able to calm down the negative self talk inside of my head, and replace that chatter with positive and encouraging words such as “you have been doing such a great job….” and as it related to my writing “it is good enough- raw authenticity is perfection”. Be a bit easier on yourself- we are all our own worst critic. Also, we only live this lifetime for so long so ease up a bit.

Support Yourself and Be Supported

I make the choice to only surround myself by supportive, caring and encouraging people (and my dog). This has helped me and continues to help me, forge steadily ahead. It allows me to follow my quirky yet brilliant creativity in whatever way, shape or form without any judgment and thus it allows my own judgments that surface to lay back down with ease. Make a choice to only surround yourself with people who make you feel good, inspired… enough. Let go of any relationships that may not be serving you well- taking or draining you. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve and have a choice to only allow quality relationships in your life.

Be Appreciative

Focus on all of the positives- it can be easy to get stuck into the trap of self criticism.  Focus on what you do have, starting with your health- if you have it you are fortunate. Focus on something you like about yourself, and take a moment to reflect and appreciate all that you have, everything that you have accomplished so far and all the places you have been-think figuratively.

Proper Maintenance

Treat your body well by eating nutritious quality food, drinking plenty of fresh quality water and doing enjoyable physical activity. Get outside and play or go for a brisk walk. Connect with nature and make your body and your health priority. If you “fall off the wagon” don’t worry- remember kindness. Just start again and know that it is perfectly normal and okay to have lazy days or cheat days from time to time.

Put Yourself First – Learn to say No

Learn to say no- this is huge. Say no to obligations. You cannot expect to be all things to all people. Learn to say no without being apologetic or feeling guilty for honoring your own space and time that you might need or want. If somebody wants you to do something that you don’t feel like doing, no is an option. Once you start saying it more often it will become more comfortable. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person.

There are other ways to learn how to love yourself, and I hope that my above recommendations based on my own experiences bring you closer to where you want to be with this topic.

A major theme here is understanding your own worth and the ability to know this worth based on nobody else’s standards but your own. Let me know what you think of this post, I would love to hear your comments, opinions, questions, and insights!

12 thoughts on “How To Learn To Love Yourself- 6 points”

  1. Very good information. All the points you hit on takes nothing but positive thoughts and behaviors. When we treat ourselves well it turns into well living with no regrets or shame for what we do and who we are.

    Really I am very impressive about how to “Be Kind to Yourself”
    can you tell me more?

    1. Hi Isam, I think that we all can be quite hard on ourselves at times and it is important to find kindness and acceptance for ourselves. This primarily rings true for those of us that struggle with perfectionism. Instead of thinking “I could have done better, I need to lose 5 pounds, I can’t publish this post or video because it is not “perfect” we should kindly reinforce the ideas of “I am so proud of myself for taking action, I am perfect as I am right now, and it is good enough, I can always make changes later”. In what ways to you show yourself kindness?

  3. Those are good points you´re writing about. We all have to learn to relax more in good and bad situations in my oppinion. For me, there are three things in general that are very helpful when I feel stuck in some kind of situation: meditation, practicing gratefulness and trying not to lie to myself about the situation.
    Still have a lot of work to do though.
    Thank you and take care 😉

  4. Hi, Andrea!
    Thank you for this great post! It is true. If you love yourself, you would feel happy. Who doesn’t want to be happy? We all want that.
    Thank you for these 6 things! Doing what I love and be appreciative help me a lot. I think that I love myself, and I always try to do only things I want.
    Thank you again!

  5. The point you made towards the end of this page is such a vital point to keep in mind. “Learn to say no without being apologetic” this is something no one had ever brought to my attention as a child, only until I was about 20 did I come to this realization myself after saying yes yes yes to things that weren’t bad but just weren’t good for ME. Making that differentiation was HUGE to me, especially while being in school, but it also applied to family. When family would put to many responsibilities on me for a kid going to college, I ended up having to make the hard decision to say no, even if I was needed. This was SO HARD, but after being so strung out I had to learn to respect and take care of myself first before I could offer any help to anyone else.

    This site has so much great information that I can tell will help me to take care of myself even better, while still doing the things I love for those I love.

    Thank you!

    1. Hi, Moriah! I am happy to hear that you enjoy my site content 🙂 I also am super happy for you because you have learned that unless you are in your joy, you have nothing to give to others. How can you be expected to give gas when your own tank is running on empty? Saying no is something you knew you had to do for yourself- I am curious what the reactions were from others? Were they understanding?

  6. Great write up on learning to love yourself.
    Each point is imperative to consider, and none should be overlooked.

    I’d like to add – Be comfortable but not too comfortable with being comfortable.
    Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a healthy way to grow. However, you must do this with the intention of getting comfortable just outside of your comfort zone.

    What do you think?

  7. Hello Andrea – excellent post to encourage anyone who are depressed and much hating themselves. I’m a person who will be like when I sat alone my mind will always think of negative thoughts. But your experience well written as a post makes me fell more confident and let’s me think of the things that I have and be positive rather than things that are not there. Normally people have the mind set of comparing themselves with other which is why the depression comes into place and this is from my experience and you can correct me here if I’m wrong. I would like to see more posts from your experience on how to break barriers with in ourself, Thanks keep writing and keep well – Mana

  8. I can not agree more. The most difficult is “put yourself first” because I tend to be a helper. But it is a must to do if we want to achieve our own goals. Your website is beautiful. I will share it in my google plus.

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