I felt an urge to write today- FINALLY. I may as well address the obviously trending topic, COVID-19.
How have you been doing?
Are you barely surviving?
Are you doing really well amidst all these changes?
I’ve Just Been Over Here Trying To Keep My Cool.
So I have been considerably silent on here considering that we are currently going through what is the most influential point of many of our lives right now- the global Covid-19 Pandemic.
I needed to take some time for processing- as I am sure I am not the only one that has experienced a variety of emotions. On one hand, I feel an intuitive level of excitement that the world has been forced to change. The way were were living could not keep on going as it was. If anything, this break for Mother Earth is enough for me to think- this is all worth it.
On the other hand, this is a major economic disruption and there is a highly contagious virus on the loose so there are obvious fears and anxieties that come up. AND – For those of you who are sensitive and are able to tap into the energies of the collective consciousness you understand that it can be hard to sometimes differentiate between the ‘stuff’ that is yours or the ‘stuff’ that is others’.
Shifting Through Emotions
So when this initially came out months ago (The W.H.O. mentioned that this would be a global health crisis) I was concerned, but I wasn’t overly anxious about the situation. As the situation became “closer to home” I remained in the same position. Complete disruption with self isolation? Totally calm.
I am not sure what suddenly provoked an onset of fear, but my hunch is that is was the collective energies of the masses and Facebook posts that pushed me to the edge. I then began to experience the following:
I am sure I am not the only one questioning every physical (possibly psychosomatic) symptoms.
Every little cough, the tickle in my throat- each time I had to blow my nose; to my mind it was obvious- I must have contracted the Covid-19! *totally unconfirmed btw.
I won’t spend much time going over my thoughts of doomsday thinking- but just to paint a slight picture it may have included the possibly of getting robbed and killed for my last pack of saltine crackers if our supply chains were cut. Don’t even get me started about thinking of my parents who are seniors in Vancouver.
Even more doomsday thinking …. “OMG- What If We All Die?”:
Between all the government conspiracies and global impact articles that are constantly presented- my cheese totally just slid off of my cracker.
I then started to have anxiety as I thought- omg what if we all die? I took it there. This is, essentially, the end of the world.
Listen– these are the realities of thought that I need to be honest about because I am not the only one who has gone there.
A Neurotic Tendency to Control My Environment:
For those of you that know me, I am always “a certain way” with how things are in my home. This is because I generally like things to look aesthetically appealing and also I have *slight* issues surrounding control and perfectionism.
It should come as no surprise that I experienced a sudden necessary urge to organize and perfect the home. Nothing was organized enough. Nothing was clean enough. Although, I wasn’t really doing that good of a job cleaning though because I was too caught up in thinking I had Covid and needed to also spend time with baby in case I died and ‘it was the only time left with Mom she would get’.
I ended up reorganizing plants and picture frames and then decluttering rooms only to put everything in the front entry way… it was just a hot mess.
To top it off, my wrist/thumb tendonitis was irritated because of all my social scrolling- which by the way is my top method of “research” to keep myself informed. *obviously*.
I noticed that with my state of mind I was becoming increasingly fretful- fair (to a point). This is a new situation which brings with it uncertainties. BUT- no thanks. I was feeling like crap and becoming a real wierdo (not in a good way).
It was time to do something about it.
(FYI the fear and anxiety state of mind lasted 3 long days).
So what to do? It’s Not All Doom & Gloom!
How Could I Not Just Survive- But Thrive?
Focusing on having a positive state of mind, making mindful daily choices and actions, finding connection/community, tapping into yourself/focusing on spiritual connection and growth are what I recommend during this time.
This is based on what I am doing for myself- and how I pulled myself out of the negative patterns that I shared with you above.
Well, my first plan of action was to get off social- not completely, but no more continuous reading, especially right before bed. I replaced my nightly habit of social scrolling with a guided meditation or relaxing hypnotherapy.
Limiting time on my phone looking at COVID related articles was a MAJOR help! Also, there a lot of funny videos/positive posts out there on this topic- try to watch and read those!
Secondly, I decided to start focusing my mind on learning something else. I signed up a course to teach me about Ayurveda- The science of life. It’s based on the belief of balancing your body mind and spirit with the earth to achieve ultimate health and wellness. I will likely integrate some of my learnings within this blog at a later point.
Speaking of this blog- it might be a time for you to start a blog of your own. Anything to just focus on yourself, creating and developing- this is all positive to do right now.
I also reached out to others- for example I am collaborating on a new mental health podcast with Anna from Pillows and Trees. This has been an excellent way to stay accountable and at least have just one more reason why I should continue to brush my hair and put on pants for our Skype calls. Calls and catch ups to friends, family, virtual birthdays, etc.. we are all going through this together so there is no need to feel alone. (Although I am not currently accepting clients for ED Coaching I am doing online coaching sessions for wellbeing during this time). Please reach out to me if you feel the need.
I have to admit that I had become rather lazy with my spiritual studies- and with all of this happening now it is a great time to strengthen my connection with spirit.
I am grateful. Grateful for another day. Grateful for the birds outside. Grateful for my health, grateful for my daughter, grateful for my family, grateful for my friends, grateful for the food we have, grateful the internet which provides unlimited resources in every way possible. Lets be grateful for every. single. thing. we. have.
ALSO- AND THIS IS BIG- I have NOT defaulted to eating disorder behaviours during this time! WOOHOO!
I am one of the blessed and fortunate to A. Be living in Canada and B. I am able to go outside right now and enjoy nature while maintaining distance from others because I live in a more rural area. My plans are to do yard work, set up the patio set- I actually want to stop right here. Any ways that we can move our body, use our breath- stick your head out of a window if you can.
We aren’t being ask to risk our lives on the front lines and go to war like many of our grandparents and great grandparents did. We are being asked to stay home. To re-evaluate our lives We are given time to develop passions that many of us have put off. Make connections that we have put off- calls to family. There is so much healing going on during the time. We are forced to deal with uncomfortable range of emotions and then look at the deeper layers to see where they are derived from. Our faith in humanity is tested- our faith in ourselves is tested. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it forces us to look at what really matters. My faith in the universe and in spirit remains- it gets stronger.
Overall, a lot of good will likely come of this.
Current state: I figure there is no use worrying about something I can’t really do anything about. I am staying in, cleaning house, connecting deeper.
And so that is my COVID-19 Journey thus far. The ugly, the good. I am happy to report that I am fine now- and I hope that by sharing this post you understand that a range of emotions you experience are normal. If you are in a funk, you can *hopefully* get out of it.
I would LOVE to hear about how and what you are doing, what you have been dealing with – how are you doing? Comment below!