I think that many people (especially those who strive for achievement constantly) can relate to feeling like a failure at several times in their life. I really want to express to you that I too go through these feelings- and today is no exception. Many of you are probably wondering if you clicked on this post- why do I feel like a failure?
Feelings of Failure Come In All Shapes and Sizes
It’s not like my life is in total dispair- infact, in so many ways I feel like a complete F’n winner. I value graditude as a daily practice and there is plenty in my life to be grateful for, but… I just cannot shake the feeling that I “could be doing better, should be doing better, and need to be better”. It is an underlying feeling that I struggle with in which I feel that I am falling short of the expectations I hold for myself.
Where Could This Come From?
Perhaps its a perfectionistic personality that I have lived with for many years coming becoming activated at this time, or perhaps there is apart of me that feels like I have yet to truely showcase my truest desires and creatives in a way that I can truely be proud of. It could also be that I have also been (full discosure) struggling a bit more lately with ED tendencies- this is of course just after I posted a video on how well I was doing… it made me feel like the video I did now holds no worth (although in reality this is completely untrue). I just can’t shake the feeling that I am constantly letting myself down lately. Such feelings are most likely due to the fact that I have lacked follow through with things that I know are of value and importance to my life, with no other excuse than I just did not have not done them.
And will all that being said, such feelings are completely normal.
These Feelings Come, and Then They Go
I already know that this too can and shall be a season. I feel like as I expand as an individual and I constantly set the bar higher I go through additional periods of self doubt, self critisim, and a lack of appreciation for how much I am already. I need to gently remind myself that this is all a journey- and these feelings of failure might be misdirected energy needed me to focus on something deeper- I then like to ask myself the following *or similar* relective questions:
In what areas am I letting myself down due to lack of accountability or follow through?
In what areas and I not showing up for myself?
In what areas am I feeling like a failure? Why?
A Solution to Feeling Like A Failure
I personally find that I tend to “feel like a failure” when I am letting myself down aka not following through with something that I need to do for myself- and in this instance I will use the example of being 22 weeks pregnant and becoming a bit… well, LAZY, and then feeling like I am using the excuse of being pregnant to be lazy.
My garage, laundry room and bathrooms are A MESS and I have not been very active. I also feel like I am not “doing enough” with my new online affiliate business- I feel like I “should be keeping busier and having more productivity”. At this point, I feel overwhelmed from all the thoughts associated with said “failures” aka the things that I am telling myself which are very possibly distorted from the paradigm that I am in right now- so what’s a girl to do?
Ask the question: Over the next 7 days, what can I do for myself to show up for myself and prove myself otherwise?
Focusing on just ONE thing I want to do for myself over the next 7 days and then following through with it each day actually helps to reset these feelings as I show myself that I am following through with a goal- notice that I am not trying to do everything at once- and that is not to say that I won’t clean my house and do more work but the idea is to just focus on getting ONE thing done for myself within the 7 days. This ONE thing is not something I have done for myself over the past few weeks- so as I complete the 7 day commitment it will give me a boost in confidence and recalibrate my mindset into recognizing that I am indeed not a failure, as I do as I say.
So, let the week begin! Care to join me?
Comment below if you are struggling with feelings of failure right now, and let me know what one thing you plan to do for yourself over the next 7 days!