Let’s sink into this a bit today – the reality is that many of us deal with self-sabotage; more specifically the driver being fear and self-doubt.
“I don’t believe fear ever “goes away” but rather a person learns to feel fear properly and push forward despite the discomfort”.
-AK
We can hold fear and doubt in a certain area of our life, and be totally confident in several others. This is something that I personally experience. I feel like my life really came together in 2017 in so many ways… but… there is a little bit of fear hiding and self doubt hiding out… I think I can feel it….
This feeling of self-doubt can come and go- getting triggered by specific event or change in environment with people, places….
I invite you to explore the area of your life that self-doubt might be lurking around in a dark corner.
Like a total fucking creep.
It may or may not be as obvious as we think- perhaps it might be prevalent coming into 2018 with newly defined goals and dreams that we would like to accomplish this new year. As we are quickly approaching the end of 2017, I am setting the intention to have more awareness in areas of my life where I might be “self-sabotaging” from any areas that I might unknowingly be struggling with self-doubt. I am taking this intention on so seriously, that I actually am enrolling in a course with my Heilkunster Coach to have accountability and create a deepened sense of awareness- I am kicking any lingering BS to the curb for 2018.
Exploring the areas where shadows may lie
The layers of self-discovery and growth are continuous- as one layer peels away, another one comes to the surface. You do reach a point where you feel strong in self- and although I do feel that I have made it to a place where I am happy with how everything is and there is just now some “final tweaking” to be done to take things to the next level.
I do think that I may be experiencing some of my own doses of self-sabotage, and so with this new coaching program that I will be taking in the new year it will hopefully bring more awareness into the forefront and I will definitely blog (and vlog) about it here.
Are you ready to do a deep exploration for 2018? Comment below if you are!!
Exploring Ways I might self-sabotage
I’m not sure how it is for you, but for me- these shadows lie in creepy little places that sometimes are still yet to be discovered. Unhealed and undealt with emotions/traumas/triggers can show up sneakily at times.
The areas of romance and my personal creative business (this one) I will like to take a closer look at…
Self-awareness is key to self-improvement so I am totally on the right track.
What I like about making the commitment to taking a course and having a coach for the new year is that it will set me up in several ways for a fresh dump of success. It can be hard to see things on your own, and it is important to be able to surround yourself with trusted people who can help you to become aware of areas that need improvement so that is why I have enrolled in a 3-month coaching program with my trusted Heilkunster Stacey Dye. (LOVE HER!).
For those of you who have no idea what Heilkunst is I have done a past post on it and will link it here.
It is an alternative form of healing that not very many understand but I have been doing it for 3 years, it has worked for me, and that is the end of that. Period.
Inner Dialogue
If you are wondering if you might perhaps struggle with self-doubt/ self-sabotage than start listening to what you are telling yourself. Be mindful enough to listen to what your say, when and why.
How nicely do you speak to yourself?
The conversations that we have inside our head is a serious situation and could really be throwing us off our game if we are not careful. A few unkind words can have a major impact by installing seeds of doubt. A single seed of doubt can blow up into a million pieces of invisible shards of shattered glass that pin us down into frozen inaction or stab us with devaluation….I have seen it several times with others and even notice it in myself at times.
But just as easily as this seed of doubt has been planted it can be taken away- the pieces can be picked up and put together again and act instead as a catalyst to further one into amazing and beautiful things.
What we are telling ourselves is so important, so it is of utmost importance to be mindful of what we say to ourselves inside our heads. Ultimately, this is why I am such a strong advocate of having a mental game that is on-point and why I adore hypnotherapy.
Without a strong mental game, how can you hope to crush your hopes, goals, and dreams?
Doubt, for many of us- perhaps all of us- may not ever go away.
Self-doubt is just another form of fear, and with the New Year around the corner, I too can find myself finding ways to feel inadequate and less empowered, especially after eating and drinking more than I typically do over the last week. It seems like I can swing from being on top of the world one day to a puttering bloated mess the next.
This is then the seed (I am quite sensitive, especially with the mind/body connection) which can spiral into other areas of my life- unless I get a grip and take control.
Thankfully, I do. I finally have enough tools to do a “reset day” which I will be doing a post about soon.
So, is this normal?
Of course it is. Even after years of working on myself I still fall down- sometimes HARD. I too have fear, self-doubt, and things that I feel are inadequacies about myself that I am working on loving.
I am sure that you some of you were expecting me to write about how perfect I am considering that I do spend some time as a hypnotherapist and personal coach helping other people to better their lives (you obviously need to read more of my blog, don’t forget to subscribe) but the truth is I am human too and just because I am able to help others further their own self-development and personal growth does not mean that I am immune to the ups and downs (the normalcy) of life itself.
I have found that it is not about trying to run away from the fear or the doubt- it is about knowing it is there and being able to move forward anyway.
Start getting a grip on self-doubt and fear
So how can you conquer self-doubt and fear? And are these “feelings” necessarily a bad thing? To a certain degree, I personally do not mind them at times- as they both push me to propel forward and further into a resonant life.
I will have more helpful hints for you in future posts, especially after I start this new program in the new year. But one thing is for certain- have found that mindset behavior changes are the surest, quickest and best ways towards freedom from the chains of all that additions bs floating around upstairs in the head. The best thing to do is start working on your mind. I recommend meditation and hypnotherapy and you can try hypnotherapy for free by getting my free audio below.
I share this post because my hope is that if you ever feel this way too, you are not alone.
At times, we can doubt ourselves – perhaps we can feel in that moment that we do not hold enough value, are not lovable enough, thin enough, successful enough… the list can go on. I know that I sure struggled with these feelings on and off for many years- the shadows of self-doubt can come (and go) without warning sometimes. These feelings are normal- the truth is, we are all there/have been there/will be there at some points in our lives. Some of us deal with this more than others. It is only a natural part of the experience of the evolution of ourselves within our lives as strive to become more than we are today.
In fact, I invite some to explore the idea that if you don’t feel self-doubt what are you not doing?
At the same time that self-doubt and fear can be debilitating, it can also help us to connect with something much deeper that we need to uncover and to grow into the amazingness of our destiny if we are willing to look at it closer.
I mean, what if we uncover – discover- that which brings us to places beyond our wildest dreams?
See now this is juicy stuff- the stuff I like to explore- a land of so many possibilities….
In Closing:
There are so many layers to us as beings, and I hope that this post helps to further your awareness to help you grow because there is nothing that can beat being the very best version of yourself!
Leave me a comment below and let me know if this post resonated with you and in what area of your life. Do you have self doubt, fear or self sabotage going on in your career? relationships? maybe with your health if you just can’t stick with a healthy lifestyle?
Ultimately, having a healthy mindset is super important, so I invite you to try out my free hypnotherapy audio to see how you like it. It is similar to a guided meditation and I promise it will not have you acting like a chicken =p Hypnotherapy is a tool that helps immensely and you can start right now by trying out my free audio (scroll back up to sign up).